The Cathy Winter Layer Cake Amino Acid Theory of a Complete Love

This is a scientific research article, composed only of logic and of carefully documented case studies by a completely rational human being.

Okay, let's take the final line of the final verse of Cathy Winter's song, "Long Time Friends". Here she is in all her glory: I'm not so sure that I can find/Just one heart to blend with mine/So I'm looking for some long time friends. Now, what are some possible implications of this line? There is this concept of having a "soul mate", that you can go out into the world and find a single other soul to complete yours. Cathy is not so sure she agrees. There are a lot of layers to life, a lot of subtle complexities that we can begin to become privy to if we are open and observant enough, if we are truly good listeners. Every person, place, and being you interact with adds layers to the cake of life, and let me tell you, this is a rich ass cake. Each layer is sweet and satisfying on its own, but when you're able to enjoy all the layers is when life becomes unbearably good.
This gives me a certain sensation that the long time friends Cathy is looking for, are in some ways comparable to amino acids forming a complete protein. There are several essential amino acids that our bodies need as building blocks, and you must combine these to form a complete protein. Long time friends are the amino acids. A complete love is the complete protein.
Experiencing love, pure love at its finest, might best be achieved by devoting your time to baking the richest layer cake, to building the best complete protein.

Survey results so far: What is the purest form of love?
-> Person to animal
-> The love that comes from helping another person
-> Love that does not expect love back
-> Acceptance
-> Joy that makes you feel that what you're doing is good and complete. Let's not get too spiritual here, though. Dogs may get this joy from licking their crotch.
More survey results to come.

While we're waxing philosophical... Here are Father Rick's three important pillars for inner health.
1) Feeling secure and that life is overall predictable
2) Feeling important and that life overall has a purpose
3) Feeling worthy and that overall life is welcoming

Father Rick is pretty smart. Here's another particularly excellent idea of his:
"Of interest to humanists and anthropologists, to philosophers and theologians, is the instinct, in the face of adversity, not just to survive, but to thrive with passion and flair"
Let's harness this instinct in the non face of adversity as well =0)

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds

Okay so this is totally a pipedream. But that's how good times start sometimes, right? So I'm asking for input from y'all on this idea I've been formulating for a bit now. It has the potential to take no shape at all, and it has the potential to become reality... so we'll see what happens =0)

I know some of us have more intense jobs than others and that this is not necessarily feasible for everyone. But I've been thinking: I want to find a group of people who are willing to meet up at the beginning of the summer (June-ish?) and just jam, jam, jam, really start gelling together and creating some beautiful music. Then when we feel ready, our little impromptu jam band goes on a roadtrip of sorts, just playing little local gigs, and/or just playing in the park or on the sidewalk, or trying to set up a few actual gigs through any connections we may have already. This is what I daydream about sometimes. So I wanted to share the idea with all you musical adventurers and see if anyone has similar daydreams. Beautiful music with beautiful people in beautiful places, okay maybe i'm waxing poetic to the point of utter cheesiness but i just want to make sure y'all catch my drift here. So let me know your thoughts =0) I love you all, happy holidays.

Roadtrip with Jordan part 2

Jordan's relatives, Dick and Marian, spoiled us rotten and gave us a really good tour of Sedona. we hiked, went to the farmer's market, got "real new york bagels", and got to see how varied the landscape of the area really is. the southwest is really enchanting. new mexico calls itself the land of enchantment and i think someone chose the perfect title.
so we stayed with Dick and Marian for a couple of days before heading out for san diego. this 10 hour drive from sedona to san diego is breathtaking. if you take the local roads heading southwest out of sedona to connect to highway 10 west of phoenix, i promise you you will not be sorry. landscapes such as you have never seen.
in san diego we stayed with Danielle, who is jordan's friend from counseling at a summer camp in alaska this past summer. we stayed at her grandpa's house in alpine, which is about 45 minutes east of san diego and a totally different world. highlights of hanging out with danielle include but are not limited to:
bouncing on the trampoline
playing king of the hill on the sand dunes
DISC!
going in the pacific at ocean beach
danielle getting her first guitar
going to a dueling piano bar called the shout house and meeting phil's brother henry and my friend from montana and her fiancee
and oh yeah, skydiving hahahahaha
hanging out as the 3 of us kind of felt like hanging out as the 3 of us on the bike trip... a motley crew just out to have a good time. i was really sad to leave jordan and danielle but the next leg of my trip quickly took a turn. instead of switching roadtrips and driving back to the east coast, i decided to get off my greyhound bus in los angeles and catch a plane home, for a couple of different reasons. so now i have been up all night, meeting lots of people in la, including one named kenny who thinks we're going to get married someday hahaha (he just got back from his year long around the world trip and is in the us for the first time since he left!). it's about 5am, and i'll be back in boston at 8pm. although this whole roadtrip lasted less than 2 weeks, they were some of the best 2 weeks of my whole year, and i have the opposite of regrets about going on the trip =0) what a good year! austin, idaho, home, austin, bike trip, austin, israel, home, roadtrip... aieee. austin beckons me back and i will run towards its open arms... after spending a lot of quality time with the fam and friends of Westborough, the Motherland.
i am really grateful to have spent time with so many awesome people on the roadtrip- jordan, danielle, peter, marian, dick, anna, joel, jacob, the rangers, kenny, shalain, todd, erin and james, henry, joey, tyrone, and so many other people we got to meet and talk to. we were shown so much generosity, as always seems to happen on these trips, and now my main goal is to spread it at least as much as it already has been spread.

Roadtrip with Jordan!

The past week of life has been quite good! Here's a little recaperoo...
So on Saturday I got to see my cousin Julia perform in the Nutcracker ballet in New Jersey. Now this kid has been dancing for a looooong time, and I would say it's her second nature, but maybe actually it's her first. So it is really cool to get to see her in her element. Even though she's just about to turn 16, I really feel like she has a really good child-like sense of humor and fun, but emotionally/mentally she is pretty far beyond a 16-year-old, and I think you can see it in her dancing, too. Although she stayed in great rhythm with the other dancers, her movements seemed more intentional and slow and peaceful than the movements of some of the other dancers.
Sunday morning hopped on a plane and went straight through the clouds. The people who sat across from me on the plane had unusually raucous laughs, and lately I've been appreciating those more and more, so that was all I needed to have a good time on the plane. They also gave out frosted animal crackers, probably the most exciting plane snack I've ever been offered.
Jordan picked me up from the airport and we went to Maya's new house for Sean's birthday brunch. Seeing everyone I'd just said good bye to two weeks ago was reallllllly awesome. Everything felt just like Austin always feels, which has really started in some ways to feel like home.
Monday we left at 7am for Santa Fe! Where we stayed with a couchsurfing host named Peter Weiss. Now I could write for hours about this guy. He is a human encyclopedia and we talked the first night from like 8pm-1am, then the next morning from like 7am-3pm, and then we came back two nights later for some more. You're thinking... isn't talking that much exhausting, and shouldn't you be out exploring Santa Fe while you're there? That's a double "no". I've never met anyone quite like Peter, he really makes your imagination and your aspirations take off.
Oh goodness, I'm feeling antisocial at Jordan's relatives' house going on and on on the dang ol computer. Let's move faster...
In Santa Fe we hung out with a homeless man and traded drawings with him, stayed with another couple and stayed up late playing catchphrase as a drinking game/some people played video games til 6am (definitely not me). Met a gypsy traveler at Peter's house who just sailed from Hawaii to Seattle and is now slowly making her way home to Florida to help her sister who isn't doing too well. Then we drove to Flagstaff for some karaoke and dancing (which Jordan rules at so it was super fun), Jordan made someone's 40th birthday by accidentally singing the song they wanted, and I got to two-step with my favorite man in the place, Tyrone. Then we had a jam session in the parking lot from all the musical inspiration, in the 20 degree weather at midnight. Drove to Kaibab Nat'l Forest and car camped in the Hotel Hyundai, aka the front seat of Jordan's car, cuz there was snow on the ground and we didn't feel like sleeping in it.
Got up at 6 and I drove Jordan's stick shift Hotel Hyundai to the entrance of the Grand Canyon under his able instruction (usually I even have trouble driving automatic, not one of my strong points). Used the parks pass we got at Petrified National Forest (which we were initally going to camp at but the campsite was actually creepy as hell so we left) and went straight to the backcountry office to get a permit to camp at the bottom. Well, the next 24 hours were unbelievable. We met so many cool people, some of who we made plans to meet up with again, and since we brought a guitar down to the bottom of the canyon (which none of the rangers had ever seen before!), a lot of impromptu serenadings and jams went down. Plus the canyon is unbelievably beautiful =0)
Now we're at Jordan's relative's in Sedona so I'm gonna go. Hasta la vista!

RAMMMMMBLINGZZZZZ

Half dreaming, half thinking? Imagination?
Me and Paul are walking in Austin, but the sky is a lot of fall colors, kind of like my sleeping bag, even though I can't see the sun anywhere. We are talking about something and I keep saying a word that starts with an "f", maybe "fake", but Paul keeps thinking I'm saying "pack"... like what happens in refugee class every day. Regina Spektor's voice keeps singing in my head in such a way that I feel like her voice is actually coming out of me, but it's just that one stupid line... "He's a wounded animal!"
In a semi conscious state I remember thinking, "after talking to Joe, I always feel like my thought process is more clear, focused, and on the right track"... so my mind went into "manic mode" (like how I felt when I took percocet) and started thinking through nearly everything I thought about throughout the day yesterday, only now i felt like it was from a much better perspective, more rational and less egotistical.
Then I felt these blue pulsations from the center of my mind traveling outward, and I imagined that it really was this energy flowing out of my body and into our room. So I decided to try to focus it and this kind of felt like lucid dreaming. I decided to try to fill our room with a peaceful, calming presence. But I don't know if I really felt like that happened or not.

Sherri says:
"Spiritually evolved people are experiencing many lifetimes in one, going through sweeping changes"
"We are coming to the end of a cycle of complete corruption and suffering. The physical plane will no longer be the dominant reality. The energy plane will be dominant"

One of the finest arts to master is listening. Listening and observing- these are the things that lead to understanding. And I'm talking about this with regards to literally everything- what other people are saying, what they're feeling... what species of plants and animals are around you and why, and how they interact with each other and with you, and listening to/observing your own place in your little niche in the world. If you try, you realize that at any given moment there are multiple things going on around you that you were completely unaware of. but the more i feel like i'm taking in what's going on around me, the more I feel myself forming unique connections to my surroundings. And you can always dig deeper and deeper layers. You start to become hypersensitive to things that didn't seem terribly significant before. How much noise there is in the city! How the earth is rattled beneath the surface by all of our hustle and bustle. Lie down in the grass anywhere downtown, spread out and press your ear against the earth. You can feel the vibrations, feel the disruptions we are causing without a thought or care. Flying is always so baffling because you can really see just how much we've altered the earth's surface and even its atmosphere (smog over all the cities). And what else is baffling is how easy it is for us to get so wrapped up in our own worlds.

If you are Jewish, you should do Israel by Foot

Just landed back in the United States after spending 10 days in Israel, with an organization called Taglit Birthright Israel. The trip I signed up for is called Israel by Foot. 40 Jewish Americans meet up with 6-8 Israeli soldiers and students and travel all around the country (which is about the size of New Jersey) on a bus, in some of the most intense 10 days of my life. This trip is completely paid for, and Israel welcomes you with open arms. People actually say to you, "Welcome home". Sleep = no. Taking in more ideas and information than you thought you could absorb while becoming really close to a lot of peopel = yes. I haven't felt such an adventurous spirit in.. well... I guess a few weeks hahaha, but it sure does feel good. I'd love to be a trip leader in the future...
If you're between 22-26 years old and have even a tiny bit of Jewish heritage in your family, I really encourage you to go on this trip. Your perspective will magnify in ways you can't know until it happens, and you will make great friends in a land of deserts, thousands-of-years-old cities, hills, seas, kibbutzim, conflict, cemeteries. There is always a lot going on in Israel in terms of politics and religion, and it makes our lives seem very simple and safe.
All Israelis are required to join the army when they turn 18, and usually serve for 2-3 years. They are intellectually and emotionally wise beyond their years, far ahead of their American peers I would have to say. And hilarious. I never thought I'd become close friends with Israeli soldiers, but the past 10 days have allowed that to happen. I can't describe how I feel right now, the best I can do is say that I'm very grateful to have gone on this trip.

Laur Remembers 2004

Laur left at 6am and naturally I couldn't sleep. The past two months DID have a lot of the same feelings as the summer of 2004. The fact that we can still identify with those feelings now that we're 23 is wonderful, and I know we will be able to identify with them time and time again, because they are the ones that make us feel really alive.
The three of us really feel like a family. It is so nice and gives me a sense of purpose and grounding in this start to some transitions in my life. It is so nice to be able to spend most of your time with/live with people you love and respect and look up to as much as we do.
Make sure every day feels like one you are fully living. If that means going against the grain, leaving your comfort zone, whatever... it is worth it. It is how you really figure things out =0)

Every day is a god, each day is a god, and holiness holds forth in time.
I worship each god, I praise each day splintered down, and wrapped in time like a husk
A husk of many colors spreading, at dawn fast over the mountains split.
(Annie Dillard)

How strange and wonderful is our home, our earth,
with its swirling vaporous atmosphere,
Its flowing and frozen climbing creatures,
The croaking things with wings that hang on rocks
And soar through fog, the furry grass, the scaly seas...
How utterly rich and wild...
Yet some of us have the nerve, the insolence, the brass, the gall to whine
About the limitations of our earthbound fate
And yearn for some more perfect world beyond the sky
We are none of us good enough
for the world we have
(Ed Abbey)